Canadian Geek Band Sampler

by Geekbands.ca

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about

There are many Canadian geek bands, and it is our mission to introduce you to as many of them as we can.

You can find us all at:
geekbands.ca

All proceeds go toward supporting the website and promotional efforts!

This sampler features 8 tracks from:

- Nerds with Guitars (Nerd Rock)
- Debs and Errol (Nerd Parody)
- Copy Red Leader (Nerd Blues)
- Kari Maaren (Nerd Folk)
- The Blast Processors (Nerd Rock)
- Kraken Not Stirred (Nerd Core)
- Press Start 2 Play (Nerd Rock)
- Peter Chiykowski (Nerd Folk)

credits

released April 30, 2014

Songs made available with permission by the respective bands.

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Track Name: Nerds with Guitars - Sympathy for the Daleks
What did the Daleks ever do to you?
What makes us so much badder than that meddling doctor... who?
We're little more than garbage cans that barely reach your knees
With bodies made of tin-foil and some flashing LEDs

We'd like to get to know you better
We think it'd be great
It really means "I love you" when we say *EXTERMINATE*


What is your big problem with the dark lords of the Sith?
Those pesky rebel Jedis like to spread this hurtful myth
The Force Choke and the Deathstar were unfortunate mistakes
And the footage of the Ewok thing was obviously faked

We're really not so bad you know
We're good guys, through and through
And if you search your feelings, you will know it to be true


We Cylons are misunderstood, it's a fact you can't deny
We're just another human scheme gone terribly awry
You built a master-race of robots, for to be your slaves
And somehow you assumed we'd acquiesce and we'd behave

But we're willing to forgive you all
For holding us in thrall
And you can take our word - so say one, so say we all


You hate the Borg collective; have you stopped to question why?
Just 'cause we assimilated some uptight, bald British guy?
Our story-lines made Voyager an unexpected hit
And do we even need to bring up Jeri Ryan's *ahem* ...implants?

We're the best addition to the franchise since Wrath of Khan
Resistance isn't futile, it's just highly frowned upon


Well the Daleks are cool, the Sith are all right, the Cylons are okay and the Borg are pretty tight.
If you take a look around I think that you'll come to see, we really are superior, so sing along with me:


Bow down before the one you serve
You're going to get what you deserve
Track Name: Debs & Errol - TIE After TIE
VERSE 1:
Flying in my X-wing as the chrono ticks to certain doom
Enemies encircle me, confusion is nothing new
Plans were stolen from deep inside
Trench run, they come
TIE after TIE...

VERSE 2:
Asteroids surrounding me, I may be in above my head
3720 to 1, I can't hear what you've said
We weave and dodge, we must evade
Let's land inside that cave

CHORUS:
You can run, you can hide but they will find you
TIE after TIE
If you falter they'll blast you, they'll be waiting
TIE after TIE

VERSE 3:
Over the forest moon, the final battle rages on
Han will have those shields down, what is taking him so long?
Armed and ready, Death Star attacks
We learn that it's a trap

CHORUS:
You can run, you can hide but they will find you
TIE after TIE
If you falter they'll blast you, they'll be waiting
TIE after TIE

TIE after TIE
TIE after TIE

I can't shake him
What should I do?
And now I've lost Artoo

CHORUS:
You can run, you can hide but they will find you
TIE after TIE
If you falter they'll blast you, they'll be waiting
TIE after TIE

You can run, you can hide but they will find you
TIE after TIE
If you falter they'll blast you, they'll be waiting
TIE after TIE

TIE after TIE
TIE after TIE
TIE after TIE
TIE after TIE
Track Name: Copy Red Leader - Tatooine Blues
I'm on this sandy planet
I've never seen the sea
I am the victim of a cruel, cruel god
Who painted this misery

CHORUS
I'll never escape this lonely landscape
These monotone vista views
This grit in my teeth
I can't get no relief
Singin' the Tatooine Blues
Singin' the Tatooine Blues

I'm in this dirty old bar
Anchorhead's got me down
I entertain the masses
Wearin' this tarnished crown

CHORUS

I serenade the scoundrels
Me and my masquerade
Nightly I weigh my chances
Of gettin' away unscathed

CHORUS

I'm on this sandy planet
I've never seen the sea
I am the victim of a cruel, cruel god
Who painted this misery for me
Track Name: Kari Maaren - Everybody Hates Elves
Come into the mystic valley,
All ye weary travellers;
Come and rest beside the pool
And lay aside your grief.
Astriel will play the harp
And sooth you with her singing
And beauty quite beyond
Belief.

We shall dine by moonlight
On delectable confections
While conversing softly
In our ancient tongue, and so
All will be quite courteous
And wonderful and magic,
And yes, in case you’re wondering,
We know

CHORUS:
Everybody hates elves.
Everybody can see
That we’re better than you.
This is knowledge that we
Hold over your heads.
You are all you can be,
But you’ll never be anything like us.
Everybody hates elves.
Everybody’s aware
That we elven-folk don’t
Really know that you’re there,
Or if you point it out,
Then we truly don’t care.
Everybody hates elves.

We are lovely and accomplished
Symbols of perfection;
We are slender, willowy,
And absurdly tall.
Humans long to sleep with us
And spawn pretty half-elves
With no human features
At all.

Humans have such tiny lives;
We live almost forever.
I have spent a hundred years
Just gazing at the sky.
And since we are all wealthy,
We live our lives in comfort.
It must be awfully dreary
To die.

(CHORUS)

(INSTRUMENTAL)

You are nourished and quite rested,
And the beauty of our land
Has allayed your grief, which vanished
‘Neath ethereal song.
Now that you are clean and happy,
Lapped about with comforts,
It’s time for you to move
Along.

We shall give you gifts, of course,
And prophecies, and blessings;
We’ll shed diamond tears as we all
See you on your way.
But you can’t just stay here; this
Is not a place for humans.
We shall wait politely as you say:

(CHORUS x2)

Everybody hates elves.
Everybody hates elves.
Track Name: The Blast Processors - We Ride (Hang On)
Lyrics:
Hit the road on our own
Endless war is our home
With hope soon a new day will dawn
So hold me tight we'll ride into the night
All you have to do is hang on (hang on!)

Chorus:
This is our final chance for victory
Back to the past to change our destiny
Warriors fighting for humanity
How can we end this dark insanity
One after one our comrades fade away
Fighting the fight until we're in our graves
Nomads in time we make our last escape
Tyranny ends with us in time

We know not what we'll face
Crossing both time and space
We fight for the dreams cast aside
So don't look back it's our final attack
With passion and fury we ride (we ride)

(Chorus)

(Solo)

(Chorus Reprise)

Refrain:
You can run. We will find you.
To the ends of time: you will never be safe
Destiny can't be changed
Your mission is a waste of time
You'll be made to pay
Once you're in our grasp
Blast Processors!
Track Name: Kraken Not Stirred - The Confunk
I'm at the con and I'm feelin' alright
Lots of hot slave Leias here tonight
Go to a panel on The Walking Dead
And I'm wearin' my finest Malcolm Reynolds threads

Me and my nerds walk into the room
Back and to left, our heads go BOOM!
Damn! Our noses, we cover
What an incredible smell we've discovered

Something offends my olfactory senses
And I'm not tryin' to cause offences
But this room smells like Sasquatch's sweaty junk
It's the Confunk

This is a Public Service Announcement
This problem, it can be surmounted
If you don't know who I'm talkin' 'bout in the room
Then like the sucker at a poker table, it's about you

You're rank and it's makin' me ill
You're lettin' down the rest of your guild
Consider it an IRL side quest
Or the muggles will never let the aphorism rest

Your Federation uniform's a bit ripe
Way to promote that stereotype
You're never gonna get into Inara's trunk
You got the Confunk

To the Trekkies and the Browncoats
Please don't be afraid of the soap
To the Whovians and the MSTies
Don't forget to get your costume dry cleaned
First thing in the day
Before you let the Warriors come out to play
Lather up your bits
And bullseye the womprat you got in your pits
Bullseye the womprat you got in your pits
I said bullseye that womprat you got in your pits
Bullseye the womprat you got in your pits

I think they need to install a vent
At the Magic: The Gathering tournament
I'm glad you played that Ember Gale
But it doesn't help you with your shower fail
Track Name: Press Start 2 Play - Portal To My Heart
Whenever we were faced,
With the dangerous obstacles that filled this place,
You took the shots, told me to stand back,
Out of the line of attack,

I promised to set you free,
You and I and cake, we were meant to be,
Never asked for anything in return,
But then I left you to-

Burn, my Companion Cube,
How could I do this to-
You never did me wrong,
But now I'm alone and you're gone,
You're gone, You're gone, You're gone,

My heart was racing from the start,
From your perfect sides to your little pink hearts,
You're nothing like the other squares,
No one will ever compare,

Oh, my Companion Cube,
How could I do this to-
You never did me wrong,
But now I'm alone and you're gone,
You're gone, You're gone, You're gone,

If I could I'd take it all back,
Live forever with you instead of livin' in regret,
I've lost my best friend,
My heart's at its end,
You always believed in me,
I've abandoned you, it's now that I see,
All that I've done,
In the end, Aperture Science has won...

Oh, my Companion Cube,
How could I do this to-
You never did me wrong,
But now I'm alone and you're gone,
You're gone, You're gone, You're gone,

Oh, my Companion Cube,
How could I do this to-
You never did me wrong,
But now I'm alone and you're gone,
You're gone, You're gone, You're gone
Track Name: Peter Chiykowski - Geeks In Love
The sparks that flew when I saw you at the gaming shop last week,
They lit the fire of my desire for an unrepentant geek,
And so I thought I'd shoot my questions first, 'cause I think you're pretty neato,
Going Solo's pretty rough, but it sure beats going Greedo.

So I'll give you my number
(Wrote it in binary)...
You can call me any time
(Assuming you read binary)...

We could roll into bed with a critical threat,
And confirm what's in both our hearts,
But I won't go it alone, so I'll wait by the phone
For Player 2 to press START.
We could be geeks in love...
We could be geeks in love...

So set your course for romance and engage at maximum warp.
Let's face the facts, you are my Dax, and I can be your Worf.
I've been searching 'cross this galaxy for the one that I adore,
I've shed my doubts, I want to shout, "This is the droid I'm looking for!"

And you have got my number...
(Still written in binary...)
So you've got me on the line...
(So I've got this thing for binary...)

We could roll into bed with a critical threat,
And confirm what's in both our hearts,
But I won't go it alone, so I'll wait by the phone
For Player 2 to press START.
We could be geeks in love...
We could be geeks in love...

[Spoken] I'm not very good at being direct, so this next part's going to be in code. It's about you.
I think you're such a...
01100010 01100001 01100010 01100101
And I think that we could be...
01100001 01100011 01100101
And now I wanna take you up to...
01100010 01100101 01100100
Because you drive me off the...
01100101 01100100 01100111 01100101

You finally called my number...
(I knew that you read binary...)
Let's go out next Friday?
(Now how's your hexidecimal?)

We could roll into bed with a critical threat,
And confirm what's in both our hearts,
But I won't go it alone, so I'll wait by the phone
For Player 2 to press START.
We could be geeks in love...
We could be geeks in love...